IN THE WAITING

Wait.

Does anyone ever love that word when it’s first spoken to you? I tell my three and four year old often to “wait” and it never goes over well. It can be so hard when you feel like what you are asking for you need right now. One second seems too late sometimes. If there is any word I feel like I have heard the most in my walk with Jesus it would be that word, WAIT. Often like a daddy pulling the back of my shirt and saying “not yet”.

I waited for Andrew to propose to me. It felt like it took forever and I was so anxious. I could feel the change coming. I could feel my spirit saying “get ready” but then I could hear Jesus saying “wait”. Like a horse waiting for it’s race I was knocking my legs at the door. I would pray and cry and goodness I lost so much sleep. I laugh now because I have matured over the last 15+ years but only because I have learned to wait through experience.

After a year of marriage Andrew and I decided we should explore medically what once was spoken over me. At a young age I was told getting pregnant may be a challenge for me in the future. We didn’t want to get years down the road and then find out. We wanted to know then. The more we found out the more the desire to have a baby got stronger. The more desperate the situation got the more I hungered for it to happen. The more desperate we got the more I heard him say “wait”. Not always the most comforting thing to here but it wasn’t time, we weren’t ready.

Years after our first baby come I started to feel a desire to move, to change. It was almost two years before we actually got called out. The crazy thing about waiting is the time of my desires and changes being placed on my heart and the time it happened were always very far from each other. Both I now know, were His time. The gap between the desire and it happening there is time for things to be revealed, prayed over, time for Him to prepare you, heal you, and lead you.

The waiting. It’s not rude. It’s not cruel. It’s not abandonment. It’s actually just the opposite. Those moments He says not yet are moments of Him drawing in and growing you. He knows just what we need to prepare us for those desires He gave us. Jesus gave us the perfect example of that. He waited over thirty years to fulfill the plan that was revealed to Him. He faced obstacle after obstacle and time revealed the plan and who He was. Sometimes we need the time between to allow us to grow but also to allow people around us to see who He really is.

This year I pray when He says “wait” you won’t believe the lie that He forgot you or that it won’t happen. I pray you would be arms wide open for the preparation He has for you. I pray you would be open to His plan looking different than your idea and trust He wants to impart some things in you, lead you, teach you, nourish you, restore you, redeem you, and set you apart.

I’ve waited a lot. With out the gap between my desire and fruition I wouldn’t be who I am today. He is in the waiting. Whatever it is you are waiting on, it’s not “no” it’s just not yet. You aren’t ahead of Him, He is right there. Closer than ever. Ready to grow in you. It’s coming. Keep doing the work. Keep running through the obstacles and know the desire will show up right there in its perfect time. For now. Meet Him in the waiting.

-Chrissy